Ameera 22 Medical Student

history

Head = Heart = Aches

"at what age did you lose yourself?"

a hello that ends with a hello.

Latest Compilation Of -- You.

Low Roar. I'm that depressed.

15 Things I've Learn From Life (There's more, I'm ...

Lucid Dreaming --

You don't know how lucky you are - Keaton Henson

Compilation Of -- You, Actually.

sincerely from me to the friend that have stayed through scorching heat to endless light of the moon, through storms and rainbows too, through silver lining and harsh truths, and for all of that and more, I am thankful and I know you know that I'm writing this to and for you. 

Dear AF, I've met you precisely a decade ago and I'm aware that I simply always forgot to tell you how much I cared about you, how egoistic I am to not say anything when you needed me. I was never there for you the way you were there for me every time I hit rock bottom. You knew how I'm so used to it that I called it home. I know you never said anything, you just sat there, arms around me and enjoy the silence with me. You knew that's what I needed most. I'm sorry if I wasn't enough, I'm sorry if you expected more from me whenever you asked for an advice, I'm sorry but I love you truly, I'd chase out all the monsters inside your head if I had to, I'd trade them all with all I had if it makes you feel better. I wanted the old you back but that's not going to happen, the happy-go-lucky 9 yr old friend I had is now 19, we've been through hell back and forward; things would never be the same again won't they? But, I'm not going to change and I'm not going to leave you, ever.  

Dear NA, I always seem to forget to tell you how much you've changed me for the better, how your existence made me a better person, and how beautiful you are inside out. I have no idea where will I be without your advice pushing me back to sanity. That one time I failed in a subject; you were there, That one time I got scolded by the teacher; you were there, That one time I fell at the hillside; you were there to laugh at me (the loudest, honestly), That many times I broke down to tears; YOU were there. I did not know how am I suppose to thank you for all the advice, inside jokes and sayings we've shared for the last 6 years but I just wish even when our face started to wrinkle (a bit), even when our cloths don't fit anymore, even when we both started to turn old and gray, maybe, just maybe our laughter still remained the same. It's crazy, what did I do to deserve a friend like you? and for all of the advice you gave me I'm here to give you no thousand but one, It's okay NA, to feel a little bit empty from time to time, it's only a sign that someday, somehow, the whole universe can fill you up. Thank you for being there during my finals, for never losing hope in me, for never asking me to quit but just to take a break and breath.

Dear FA, I don't remember how many times I lost my temper on you, how many times I've scolded you for being too.. you? That I think I must have hurt you in any way and did I ever apologize for all? Forgive me for all the times I didn't understand you as much as you wanted to. Forgive me for not being there to lend you my shoulders when you needed me the most and I bet that was why you never told me things until quite some time. Forgive me for letting you do the most stupidest thing without me (lol) and forgive me that I couldn't protect you from falling too deeply for something that wasn't worth the thrill of heights. I know you've changed a lot from the very first time we became friends, that I think people that betrayed you have lose a very good soul in their life but let it be. You need to know how to love yourself more than to prioritize other hearts just because you think they're more broken and needed to be mend more than yours, no. You got this amazing heart, don't waste it with someone ever so carelessly, wrecklessly. I couldn't stand seeing you sad, moreover cry. I'm not good with advice, I'm not good at lying by saying everything will be alright. But my silence did not mean I don't care, it's very the opposite. I wish nothing but the best of you and be happy, will you atleast try?

Dear DS, I got thousand of thank yous for you but I'll leave it to 15 because I don't have all night. Thank you for all the times you helped me whenever and wherever, doesn't matter if you're having trouble of your own you never said no to me (is it because I'm that intimidating?? lol) Thank you for that one time you just simply bought me dragon fruit juice from the bazaar Ramadhan because you know how I love drinking it for iftar. Thank you for never giving up on me and leaving me to shop alone because I'm that cerewet especially that time when I had to buy my brother's birthday present. Thank you for all the weird typos you did that are never unfunny. All of it was basically the reason I archived my tweets from my old twitter account. Thank you for being my driver whenever I needed the transport especially during TrEES, how it would have been more devastating without you, to share every little laughter and tears we had. Thank you for the many times you drove me to the Pasar Malam just to buy popcorns because I'm obsessed yet you never judged me. Thank you for that night you told me I'll get over him somehow, someday. Thank you for that time we went to the Haunted House and you decided to block my view?? Thank you for hearing my rants about how dreamy is Edward Cullen. Thank you for making me wait for an hour because you were 'showering'. Thank you for coming with me to Kuantan even when you were busy. Thank you for always supporting me whenever I made fun of the other 6. Thank you for hearing all my problems from A to Z and never judging me for each alphabet. Thank you for losing in every UNO games. Thank you for not leaving me when you had all the reason to.

Dear FD, You have always been my shoulders to cry on even when we're separated by roads,trees and hundreds kilometers apart. Ever since high school you never left me to feel that I'm not worthy. It's amazing how you will always come by just to make sure that I'm okay even for the most ridiculous issue. You touched the deepest part of my heart and you remained there. That one time I was crying over a friend who betrayed me, you never ask me to stop crying and get on with my life instead you let me cry and made me laugh a minute later. That one time you bought me ice cream but somehow the guy salah kira but you just pull me inside because 'rezeki' katanya. That one time I got really depressed with all my hectic schedules and difficult tutorials but you believed in me that I can do better than I expected. That one time we went home for raya together and the person in front of us almost fell right at the glass and we both held our breath because we didn't want to laugh but it was too funny that I laughed anyway. That one time I got into a huge fight with a friend and you called me just to let me calm down and again, made me laugh. That one time we went out after I got into the huge fight just to make me feel better by seeing the world again. Thank you for all that time,FD. I wish I could be there as much as you've been there for me.

Dear AJ, I think you like mystery so much that you became one? Sounds cliche, right? It's from Paper Towns. That's how I think we became close. We both had the same interest in fictions. We both had the same interest in pursuing our future. And I wished you would have shared more about your being with me. I wished you would have trusted me more about all there is to you. But, it's fine AJ, I'm not going to force you to trust me or us but just remember what ever that is crushing you and hitting you rock bottom right now, the seven of us will not leave you even if you asked us too. You balanced us in many ways, we were these heartless beaches (lol) and you're this pure cinnamon roll. Thank you for pushing me forward every single time I took a step back. Dude, you've made it far, don't give up now or ever. Your path are way harder than mine ever be but I did not became friends with a quitter nor will I stop being friends with you if you do but I'm not going to stand there to watch you quit the things you fell in love first simply because I have confidence in you that you can go far beyond what you expect. I truly love you even if my ego stopped me for saying it straight to your face most of the time but just know I do.

Dear NQ, you're petite but you're stronger than your physical appearances. You've gone through a catastrophe but you always manage to put on a smile, how I wished I could be more like you. But, I'm glad brosif, that you trusted me to hear all that's happening and you heard mine too. Even after all these years you never stop believing me and congratulate me even the most ridiculous award like the most annoying person in class award (lol) You're beautiful inside out NQ, never let anybody use your heart or your kindness or your friendship against you. You always support me and make me feel better about myself. We shared the same interest in food especially tomyam! (MOSTLY TOMYAM) even though you hated onions it's okay because you never judged me for hating on chocolates. Thank you for always being a sweet tooth, my sweet tooth especially because you always manage to finish all the sweet and cakes I have lol. Thank you for hearing my rants about my unrealistically high interest in guys and fangirling with me everyday in high school! Thank you for checking if there is a lizard during every tuition class or it would have been a catastrophe you know having me and assilla there. Thank you for all the good laughs we shared and for being the one always so afraid of blood in every psychotic movie I put on lol it would have been boring without you.